Friday, December 3, 2010

Ch-ch-changes: Breaking My Scale Addiction

  The first post in which I introduce you to my crazy.

   Here goes nothing. . . deep breath. . . I have a confession: I am a scale addict and up until yesterday (when I decided things HAD to change) I weighed myself on average, ten times a day.  It was quite the process, because I did not just hop on the scale, nooo everything had to come off for these weigh-ins (jewelry included.)  Even if I was all dressed and ready to go, if the urge hit I would strip down, hop on the scale and then re- dress.  Seriously sick.

Here's some times I felt appropriate for weigh-ins:

~When I wake up (after going to the bathroom, before ingesting anything)~ What I regarded as my "true" weight for the day
~ As soon as I get home from work
~ Before I exercise
~ After I exercise
~ After eating anything
~After drinking anything
~ Before dinner
~ After dinner
~ Upon returning to the house from anywhere
~ Before bed
~ Whenever else the urge hit :/

Crazy-making

     Yesterday I took a huge step in my life,  after I wrote my weigh-in post and said that I wouldn't have another blog weigh-in for three weeks I decided that I wouldn't step on a scale at all for these three weeks either.   I've made it a day and a half so far and I consider that quite the accomplishment.  It's been on my mind, I've been tempted, I almost caved, butttt I kept my resolve!   I will not step on a scale again until Dec. 23rd, and even then I will not resort back to my time sucking, mood changing, multi-daily weigh-ins.  
      This was actually one of the goals I wrote about (although I didn't admit to my 10+ habit then) when I first started this blog in October, except at the point I was not willing to change my behavior so I just let it fall by the wayside since it was easier.  I am now ready and determined to make this vital change.
       Part of it is a habit/comfort thing, I'm so used doing it, and maybe I feel secure knowing where I'm at?  Do I think I am going to gain 10 lbs in the 3 weeks I'm not using the scale?   It has been weird the past two days, having to stop myself because my impulses tell me to jump on the scale.
       I was skeptical about posting this, afraid of how I'd be perceived, but it's been filling my head, I needed the therapeutic release that comes with expressing my thoughts.   I've always been one to hold my emotions in, blogging/ writing is helping me better express myself, and helping me grow and improve as a person.  


This is posted at the foot of my blog, but it fits so well here too:

"You only ever grow as a human being if you're outside your comfort zone." ~Percy Cerutty


and here I am still afraid to hit post. . .

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